Teaching your child how to be a douche
Yeah, my brother has good taste. Legit.
Introducing Moe to catnip.
Take me here.
(Source: thehandbookauthority, via amanunderthesea)
It’s like he woke up and said “Leyla really needs a story today, let me craft it to her tastes precisely”.
They say morale is the big key to any office, but if you’ve got a bunch of stiffs who can’t take a joke, then you’re not going to have any morale.
“It’s a mixer,” I told the new intern. “Just show up around 4 o’clock.”
And when he showed up to the address, it was a mixer all right! It was an industrial strength mixer that I’d rented for the day!
“Chew on that!” I screamed.
“Uh, yeah. You sure did get me.”
“Well, turn it on already!”
“I don’t want to.”
So I turned it on, but there wasn’t anything to mix so I turned it off.
“You know, if you’re up for it,” said the intern, “A bunch of us are getting drinks across the street.”
“You are? When did you hear about that?”
“There was an email chain.”
“You should come.”
But I couldn’t. I had to get that mixer back before 7pm or else they’d charge for a whole weekend.
Later that night at dinner, I thought back to the puzzled look on the intern’s face and nearly spit ramen all over the steering wheel of my car. Some people were just born losers.
The Painting I would Paint
“Give me two hours a day of activity, and I’ll take the other twenty-two in dreams.”
Hey I love Game of Thrones
(Inspired by lots of wonderful gifs and photo sets, thanks internet!)
“Chris Lilley” by John Tsiavis, finalist in the National Photographic Portrait Prize, 2013 @ The National Portrait Gallery, Canberra, Australia.
When we were Kings
(Source: rayfistacuffs, via thehipsterkids)
Please make a haiku
about never giving up
my strength is ebbing
Ebb and flow is the
natural movement of tides.
The moon always pulls.